Tonight's Note... (This is me going on a tangent)

is another philosophical one... what do you think?
sorry if my writing is chopped and retarded. thats just the way i write.
This isnt necessarily intended for people to read.

ACT 1

I was doing my phil reading and this whole part struck me. Partly because its something I had pondered before and also because Kant flowers it up so nicely:

"In fact, we find the more a cultivated reason devotes itself to the aim of enjoying life and happiness, the further does man get away from true contentment. Because of this there arises in many persons, if only they are candid enough to admit it, a certain degree of misology i.e., hatred of reason. This is especially so in the case of those who are most experienced in the use of reason, because after calculating all the advantages they derive, I say not from invention of all the arts of common luxury, but even from the sciences...they yet find that they have in fact only brought more trouble onto their heads than they have gained in happiness." Kant

Slightly off topic...yesterday the school newspaper printed 2 pages debating religion and it reminded me of a quote that said you can believe in faith blindly but sometimes, for accuracy, you must look through a microscope. You have to see between the lines, see. You have to see what is actually real. It is this reasoning that Kant talks about. In the case of faith ive explained to some people that yes i dont believe in religion or God, not necessarily because it doesnt seem plausible but also because I dont think I need it. Factually speaking it is ridiculous. And growing up in the church life you get to see through the lines. My observations and analysis have showed me what Kant talks about. And even the folks of the school paper shared my view and I thought that was interesting. They talked about how religion is of comfort. I say theistic beings live a lie for the sake of their happiness. I dont live a lie for the sake of my happiness. Back to topic, as the quote describes, all this pondering only brings you down, only brings more trouble. But i will take this trouble before I pretend. Pretending that shit is all about happiness, you will never attain a true answer.

ACT 2

The other night I was talking to my roomates and we talked about the meaning of life. We shared our opinions. I said life has no meaning. We live, breathe, and die. That's it. And they questioned me? If life has no meaning then why do you do the things you do? and well i do the things i do because they are my interests. I accept everyday for what it is. I told them I have no goals in life. I told them im just an optimistic person. That no matter what things will be okay. Then, they responded their own question and said their goal in life is to live a happy life, enjoy life. How original... but I tried to explain to them that life is not necessarily about happiness because wtf is happiness?

"But do you understand, I cry to him, do you understand that along with happiness, in the exact same way and in perfectly equal proportion, man also needs unhappiness!"--Dostoevsky

Its not about happiness, get real. What is happiness? and in class we discussed good/being good and so far as we have learned it is seemingly impossible. No matter how good your are, no matter how moderate you are in actions, emotions, self-restriction it all falls to nothing if there isnt a good will. But how much value does good will have. Kant says good will is good regardless of achieving a goal but thats like me telling my wife "oh hey, happy anniversary. i meant to get you a card and flowers but didnt get to it." You had good intentions and a good will to act but you didnt follow through....So, where's the jewel in that.

And a final note:
"For, after all, you do grow up, you do outgrow your ideals, which turn to dust and ashes, which are shattered into fragments; and if you have no other life, you just have to build one up out of these fragments. And all the time your soul is craving and longing for something else. And in vain does the dreamer rummage about in his old dreams, raking them over as though they were a heap of cinders, looking in these cinders for some spark, however tiny, to fan it into a flame so as to warm his chilled blood by it and revive in it all that he held so dear before, all that touched his heart, that made his blood course through his veins, that drew tears from his eyes, and that so splendidly deceived him!"

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